My husband and I took a much needed vacation last week and went out to Colorado to visit my brother and his wife. I was initially inspired (translation: kicked in the butt?) to go by some recent news my brother had shared with us - a cancer diagnosis. Though I have every confidence my brother will beat this thing, 5 years had already slipped by since our last chance to visit. This news just made me realize all the more how easily we allow the distractions of our daily routines, and the constant competition for our hard-won earnings, to steal precious time from family. So, hubby and I decided to take the time, wipe out the emergency fund (this is kind of an emergency, after all), and go.
Respecting my brother's wonderfully absurd sense of humor, coupled with his deep dislike for drama, I felt that the visit should be predominantly light-hearted and fun. Still, since these opportunities to be together are so precious and few, and since he would be facing some pretty daunting days ahead, I couldn't help but wonder...should I be saying something encouraging? Doing something helpful? Offering some hands-on healing prayer?
I prayed about it each day I was there. I also prayed each morning that whatever was supposed to be accomplished that day would, in the Lord's great wisdom and by His grace, be accomplished - either through us or in spite of us. In response to these prayers, what I mostly heard the Lord saying was, "Just love him."
Why was our handling of this visit such an issue? Well, hubby and I live in a very different reality, or mindset, from that of my brother.
"Bro" is a highly intelligent, truly accomplished man whose passion has for decades been climate change and alternative/renewable energy sources. As a young adult, he helped spearhead securing a federal grant to move a small Wisconsin town out of its 100-year flood plain and rebuild it to become the first solar village in the U.S. He has written books on the subject, given countless presentations to some amazingly powerful and illustrious audiences, and speaks all over the world on the subject of climate change. He also helped write a 100-day action plan for the current President and his administration, and earnestly yearns to see, in his lifetime, the tide turn with regards to the world's dependency, in both fact and in attitude, on fossil fuels and their resulting "carbon footprint." He has, in fact, spent his life in the passionate pursuit of this ideal.
Then there are my husband and myself. As worship leaders in a major evangelical denomination, we are steeped in an entirely different world-view. Though I believe most clear-thinking, balanced Christians wholeheartedly embrace wise stewardship of all that God has given us, we have heard some within our ranks claim that no such climate change exists - that it is the imagining of a liberal left. In fact, as I have listened to one fundamental, right-wing Christian talk show host in particular, I hear a lot of things...most of them unkind. It disturbs me no end to hear brother speak against brother in the manner I have heard, with sarcastic tone and unloving heart.
Is this what Jesus has called us to do? Is He not the Saviour Who, while we were still sinning, yet forgave us and gave His life for us? Is this not the Jesus Who, while they were beating Him, humiliating Him, piercing His side, yet asked God to forgive them, for they knew not what they were doing? Did not this same Emmanuel (God-With-Us) bear witness with His very life to His Fathers' first commandment to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength;" followed closely by the second - "Love your neighbor as yourself?"
I can't help but believe that it is the false witness of judgmentalism and criticism that causes my familial brother to turn away from the "brotherhood of the saints" - and not only him, but the many others with whom I want to share the fullness of the love relationship I enjoy with my Savior. How do I do battle against the condemnation they hear from within my own ranks? These people do not speak for me...nor, in my opinion, do they speak for my Beloved.
At the worship conference I attended in July, I shared several meals with a wonderful married couple from another denominational persuasion. We were talking about how much conflict, hurt, criticism and condemnation exists WITHIN the body of believers - brother against brother, church against church, denomination against denomination. What's up with that? At the end of our conversation, I summed it up by saying, "So, we all express our faith in Christ in unique ways. Some of us may think others of us a bit weird...so what? I can't help but think that Jesus is up there saying to His children, 'It's okay. Be weird...but play nice.'"
That's kind of become a slogan for me to live by since then. And interestingly, I heard the same heartfelt plea coming from my brother in one of our more serious conversations this past week. Six family members were sitting in his living room speaking about politics and religion - yep, the two taboo topics for people of difference political/faith persuations. But we did so, and did it all with grace and love. I believe we all came away with expanded viewpoints, greater wisdom and more wholeness because of our respectful sharing of differing views.
At the tail end of this conversation, Bro said something to this effect (though more well-spoken, I am sure): "I don't think this world stands a chance for true change unless we can all learn to treat each other with love and respect despite the differences in our beliefs. Why can't we just agree to disagree? To be able to sit and discourse, just like we're doing right now, and do so with respect and love for one another?"
In other words - be weird, but play nice.
Over the course of our 4-day visit, we did have fun, and many great adventures, thanks to bro and wife's graciousness in playing tour guide and hostess, respectively. We laughed and played music and sang harmony and ate great food and enjoyed fine wine. We partied with neighbors and even more relatives, saw the mountains and played games and visited a casino. We told incriminating childhood stories. There was golfing and hiking and shopping and even jewelry making.
But every now and then, there were moments of quiet sharing...about faith and hope; about the Bible and other world religions; about sickness and wellness and peace of mind in the midst of it all; about solar power and fossil fuels; and about our love for one another.
In the end, it was not just my brother's healing God was attending to. He also healed me of some old woundedness about my not being good enough or worthy of the attention of this big brother of mine who has so shined in his life. This poor self-image I have burdened myself with all my life has always made me feel like a blithering idiot around him and anyone else whom I hold in high regard. During the early part of this visit, in fact, that low self-image was lowered even further by the fact that I made a lot of blunders that would have irrirated anyone (giving the wrong directions for where we were to meet for lunch; badly underestimating our arrival time for dinner one night, etc.)
But on our last full day there, my brother, whom I was certain I'd been disappointing and/or irritating for 57 years, gathered me into his arms in a big bear hug and told me how proud he is of me for what I've accomplished in my life, especially as a worship musician. I didn't go to Colorado to receive that healing - I went in the hope of offering comfort, care, wisdom, prayer - but God tended to my needs in the midst of that.
That's just the way He is with those who love Him - always giving unexpected and wonderful gifts - especially to us weird ones who, despite our many shortcomings, try always to play nice.
Respecting my brother's wonderfully absurd sense of humor, coupled with his deep dislike for drama, I felt that the visit should be predominantly light-hearted and fun. Still, since these opportunities to be together are so precious and few, and since he would be facing some pretty daunting days ahead, I couldn't help but wonder...should I be saying something encouraging? Doing something helpful? Offering some hands-on healing prayer?
I prayed about it each day I was there. I also prayed each morning that whatever was supposed to be accomplished that day would, in the Lord's great wisdom and by His grace, be accomplished - either through us or in spite of us. In response to these prayers, what I mostly heard the Lord saying was, "Just love him."
Why was our handling of this visit such an issue? Well, hubby and I live in a very different reality, or mindset, from that of my brother.
"Bro" is a highly intelligent, truly accomplished man whose passion has for decades been climate change and alternative/renewable energy sources. As a young adult, he helped spearhead securing a federal grant to move a small Wisconsin town out of its 100-year flood plain and rebuild it to become the first solar village in the U.S. He has written books on the subject, given countless presentations to some amazingly powerful and illustrious audiences, and speaks all over the world on the subject of climate change. He also helped write a 100-day action plan for the current President and his administration, and earnestly yearns to see, in his lifetime, the tide turn with regards to the world's dependency, in both fact and in attitude, on fossil fuels and their resulting "carbon footprint." He has, in fact, spent his life in the passionate pursuit of this ideal.
Then there are my husband and myself. As worship leaders in a major evangelical denomination, we are steeped in an entirely different world-view. Though I believe most clear-thinking, balanced Christians wholeheartedly embrace wise stewardship of all that God has given us, we have heard some within our ranks claim that no such climate change exists - that it is the imagining of a liberal left. In fact, as I have listened to one fundamental, right-wing Christian talk show host in particular, I hear a lot of things...most of them unkind. It disturbs me no end to hear brother speak against brother in the manner I have heard, with sarcastic tone and unloving heart.
Is this what Jesus has called us to do? Is He not the Saviour Who, while we were still sinning, yet forgave us and gave His life for us? Is this not the Jesus Who, while they were beating Him, humiliating Him, piercing His side, yet asked God to forgive them, for they knew not what they were doing? Did not this same Emmanuel (God-With-Us) bear witness with His very life to His Fathers' first commandment to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength;" followed closely by the second - "Love your neighbor as yourself?"
I can't help but believe that it is the false witness of judgmentalism and criticism that causes my familial brother to turn away from the "brotherhood of the saints" - and not only him, but the many others with whom I want to share the fullness of the love relationship I enjoy with my Savior. How do I do battle against the condemnation they hear from within my own ranks? These people do not speak for me...nor, in my opinion, do they speak for my Beloved.
At the worship conference I attended in July, I shared several meals with a wonderful married couple from another denominational persuasion. We were talking about how much conflict, hurt, criticism and condemnation exists WITHIN the body of believers - brother against brother, church against church, denomination against denomination. What's up with that? At the end of our conversation, I summed it up by saying, "So, we all express our faith in Christ in unique ways. Some of us may think others of us a bit weird...so what? I can't help but think that Jesus is up there saying to His children, 'It's okay. Be weird...but play nice.'"
That's kind of become a slogan for me to live by since then. And interestingly, I heard the same heartfelt plea coming from my brother in one of our more serious conversations this past week. Six family members were sitting in his living room speaking about politics and religion - yep, the two taboo topics for people of difference political/faith persuations. But we did so, and did it all with grace and love. I believe we all came away with expanded viewpoints, greater wisdom and more wholeness because of our respectful sharing of differing views.
At the tail end of this conversation, Bro said something to this effect (though more well-spoken, I am sure): "I don't think this world stands a chance for true change unless we can all learn to treat each other with love and respect despite the differences in our beliefs. Why can't we just agree to disagree? To be able to sit and discourse, just like we're doing right now, and do so with respect and love for one another?"
In other words - be weird, but play nice.
Over the course of our 4-day visit, we did have fun, and many great adventures, thanks to bro and wife's graciousness in playing tour guide and hostess, respectively. We laughed and played music and sang harmony and ate great food and enjoyed fine wine. We partied with neighbors and even more relatives, saw the mountains and played games and visited a casino. We told incriminating childhood stories. There was golfing and hiking and shopping and even jewelry making.
But every now and then, there were moments of quiet sharing...about faith and hope; about the Bible and other world religions; about sickness and wellness and peace of mind in the midst of it all; about solar power and fossil fuels; and about our love for one another.
In the end, it was not just my brother's healing God was attending to. He also healed me of some old woundedness about my not being good enough or worthy of the attention of this big brother of mine who has so shined in his life. This poor self-image I have burdened myself with all my life has always made me feel like a blithering idiot around him and anyone else whom I hold in high regard. During the early part of this visit, in fact, that low self-image was lowered even further by the fact that I made a lot of blunders that would have irrirated anyone (giving the wrong directions for where we were to meet for lunch; badly underestimating our arrival time for dinner one night, etc.)
But on our last full day there, my brother, whom I was certain I'd been disappointing and/or irritating for 57 years, gathered me into his arms in a big bear hug and told me how proud he is of me for what I've accomplished in my life, especially as a worship musician. I didn't go to Colorado to receive that healing - I went in the hope of offering comfort, care, wisdom, prayer - but God tended to my needs in the midst of that.
That's just the way He is with those who love Him - always giving unexpected and wonderful gifts - especially to us weird ones who, despite our many shortcomings, try always to play nice.
