Be Weird, Play Nice

My husband and I took a much needed vacation last week and went out to Colorado to visit my brother and his wife. I was initially inspired (translation: kicked in the butt?) to go by some recent news my brother had shared with us - a cancer diagnosis. Though I have every confidence my brother will beat this thing, 5 years had already slipped by since our last chance to visit. This news just made me realize all the more how easily we allow the distractions of our daily routines, and the constant competition for our hard-won earnings, to steal precious time from family. So, hubby and I decided to take the time, wipe out the emergency fund (this is kind of an emergency, after all), and go.

Respecting my brother's wonderfully absurd sense of humor, coupled with his deep dislike for drama, I felt that the visit should be predominantly light-hearted and fun. Still, since these opportunities to be together are so precious and few, and since he would be facing some pretty daunting days ahead, I couldn't help but wonder...should I be saying something encouraging? Doing something helpful? Offering some hands-on healing prayer?

I prayed about it each day I was there. I also prayed each morning that whatever was supposed to be accomplished that day would, in the Lord's great wisdom and by His grace, be accomplished - either through us or in spite of us. In response to these prayers, what I mostly heard the Lord saying was, "Just love him."

Why was our handling of this visit such an issue? Well, hubby and I live in a very different reality, or mindset, from that of my brother.

"Bro" is a highly intelligent, truly accomplished man whose passion has for decades been climate change and alternative/renewable energy sources. As a young adult, he helped spearhead securing a federal grant to move a small Wisconsin town out of its 100-year flood plain and rebuild it to become the first solar village in the U.S. He has written books on the subject, given countless presentations to some amazingly powerful and illustrious audiences, and speaks all over the world on the subject of climate change. He also helped write a 100-day action plan for the current President and his administration, and earnestly yearns to see, in his lifetime, the tide turn with regards to the world's dependency, in both fact and in attitude, on fossil fuels and their resulting "carbon footprint." He has, in fact, spent his life in the passionate pursuit of this ideal.

Then there are my husband and myself. As worship leaders in a major evangelical denomination, we are steeped in an entirely different world-view. Though I believe most clear-thinking, balanced Christians wholeheartedly embrace wise stewardship of all that God has given us, we have heard some within our ranks claim that no such climate change exists - that it is the imagining of a liberal left. In fact, as I have listened to one fundamental, right-wing Christian talk show host in particular, I hear a lot of things...most of them unkind. It disturbs me no end to hear brother speak against brother in the manner I have heard, with sarcastic tone and unloving heart.

Is this what Jesus has called us to do? Is He not the Saviour Who, while we were still sinning, yet forgave us and gave His life for us? Is this not the Jesus Who, while they were beating Him, humiliating Him, piercing His side, yet asked God to forgive them, for they knew not what they were doing? Did not this same Emmanuel (God-With-Us) bear witness with His very life to His Fathers' first commandment to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength;" followed closely by the second - "Love your neighbor as yourself?"

I can't help but believe that it is the false witness of judgmentalism and criticism that causes my familial brother to turn away from the "brotherhood of the saints" - and not only him, but the many others with whom I want to share the fullness of the love relationship I enjoy with my Savior. How do I do battle against the condemnation they hear from within my own ranks? These people do not speak for me...nor, in my opinion, do they speak for my Beloved.

At the worship conference I attended in July, I shared several meals with a wonderful married couple from another denominational persuasion. We were talking about how much conflict, hurt, criticism and condemnation exists WITHIN the body of believers - brother against brother, church against church, denomination against denomination. What's up with that? At the end of our conversation, I summed it up by saying, "So, we all express our faith in Christ in unique ways. Some of us may think others of us a bit weird...so what? I can't help but think that Jesus is up there saying to His children, 'It's okay. Be weird...but play nice.'"

That's kind of become a slogan for me to live by since then. And interestingly, I heard the same heartfelt plea coming from my brother in one of our more serious conversations this past week. Six family members were sitting in his living room speaking about politics and religion - yep, the two taboo topics for people of difference political/faith persuations. But we did so, and did it all with grace and love. I believe we all came away with expanded viewpoints, greater wisdom and more wholeness because of our respectful sharing of differing views.

At the tail end of this conversation, Bro said something to this effect (though more well-spoken, I am sure): "I don't think this world stands a chance for true change unless we can all learn to treat each other with love and respect despite the differences in our beliefs. Why can't we just agree to disagree? To be able to sit and discourse, just like we're doing right now, and do so with respect and love for one another?"

In other words - be weird, but play nice.

Over the course of our 4-day visit, we did have fun, and many great adventures, thanks to bro and wife's graciousness in playing tour guide and hostess, respectively. We laughed and played music and sang harmony and ate great food and enjoyed fine wine. We partied with neighbors and even more relatives, saw the mountains and played games and visited a casino. We told incriminating childhood stories. There was golfing and hiking and shopping and even jewelry making.

But every now and then, there were moments of quiet sharing...about faith and hope; about the Bible and other world religions; about sickness and wellness and peace of mind in the midst of it all; about solar power and fossil fuels; and about our love for one another.

In the end, it was not just my brother's healing God was attending to. He also healed me of some old woundedness about my not being good enough or worthy of the attention of this big brother of mine who has so shined in his life. This poor self-image I have burdened myself with all my life has always made me feel like a blithering idiot around him and anyone else whom I hold in high regard. During the early part of this visit, in fact, that low self-image was lowered even further by the fact that I made a lot of blunders that would have irrirated anyone (giving the wrong directions for where we were to meet for lunch; badly underestimating our arrival time for dinner one night, etc.)

But on our last full day there, my brother, whom I was certain I'd been disappointing and/or irritating for 57 years, gathered me into his arms in a big bear hug and told me how proud he is of me for what I've accomplished in my life, especially as a worship musician. I didn't go to Colorado to receive that healing - I went in the hope of offering comfort, care, wisdom, prayer - but God tended to my needs in the midst of that.

That's just the way He is with those who love Him - always giving unexpected and wonderful gifts - especially to us weird ones who, despite our many shortcomings, try always to play nice.

A Dynamite Bride

July 20, 2009



I recently blogged about attending a worship conference in Carrollton, Texas, earlier this month. The event was called the Unveiled Worship Institute. It was hosted by North Church at the behest of its worship leader, Brian Ming - a remarkable young man who has stepped forward to take the baton passed on by the International Worship Institute, which exists to glorify God by edifying, encouraging, training and raising up worship leaders to prepare the Bride of Christ for her Groom's return.


One of the most inspiring speakers I've ever heard, Bob Sorge, closed the final session of that event. A former worship leader and pastor whose voice was damaged some 16 years ago, Bob is unable to speak save for about an hour a day - and that, at a painful whisper. I've heard him speak four times now; every time, I come away deeply enriched and refocused for ministry. (Follow his Twitter at http://twitter.com/bobsorge, or read more about him and his ministry at http://www.oasishouse.net/).


Bob's closing talk this year referenced Hebrews 10:19-22, which speaks about entering the holy place of God through getting sprinkled with the Blood of Jesus. Actually, Bob talks about "barging in with boldness" to the throne room, since the blood of Christ cleanses us and causes us to be declared righteous in God's eyes. That righteousness, he says, gives us the authority to draw near to God - and holiness is what happens to us when we get there.


As an illustration, Bob relayed the story of being a little boy who loved to get in the middle of his mom and dad's hugs. His father, he says, finally had to tell the growing boy that he was too big to squeeze between them any more. Nevertheless, Bob says, he still likes to be wherever that kind of love-in-action is.

His childhood analogy then points us to the love embrace between Father and Son in heaven.

"Notice what happens," Bob points out, "between Psalm 109 and 110."

Psalm 109 says that Jesus stands at the right hand of "the needy one" (us). Then look at the next sentence, which opens Psalm 110: "The Lord says to my Lord - 'Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.'"

Bob says - "Do the math. If Jesus is on our right hand, and Jesus is at God's right hand, where does that put us?" Right smack in the middle of the Love Embrace between Father and Son!


Bob says that each day, he takes the time to "get sprinkled with the Blood, barge into the throne room, and wriggle into the midst of that Love Embrace" - just like he used to do as a child with his parents. Bob took us all through that mental/spiritual exercise, and I was surprised I could picture it pretty well as he talked us through it.


After I got home from the conference, I decided I would also commit to such daily time in that holy Love Embrace. On about day three of that discipline, an interesting thing happened: Upon awakening that morning, I was trying to recreate the mental (spiritual) exercise Bob put us through at the closing session: I am sprinkled by the blood of the lamb, and I barge into the throne room – it’s ME again, Lord!


So in my mind’s eye, I got sprinkled, and I put my hand on the door of the throne room to push it open. I was expecting after I did so to see holy fire and light, multitudes of swirling and praising angelic beings, the love embrace of Father and Son, like I was able to visualize fairly well at the conference…but this morning, no visual came.


Instead, before I could even push that door open, I immediately “heard” (or the thought was given me):



I AM IN LOVE WITH A DYNAMITE BRIDE OF CHRIST



It’s as though He met me at the door of the throne room - I didn’t even need to go in. He delivered the message, and we were done for the morning.


I was rather taken by surprise, and puzzled by the “dynamite” reference. But my sense is that God was greatly pleased with our sacrifice of praise at the Unveiled Worship conference…that the humble, God-focused, passionate worship we shared there was a holy and pleasing fragrance unto Him, and that perhaps He was saying in response, “This is more like it! I can do something with worship like this! I am in love with this Bride, who is again on fire for Me.”


Something was certainly re-ignited in my spirit at the conference – and, I suspect, in all of us who attended. We were undone by the palpable Presence of the Lord at our worship services. We were shown how we had lost our focus; we were broken and repentant…and sprinkled again by the Blood of the Lamb. And then, He invited us into the throne room to sit in the midst of that amazing Love Embrace, where we were filled back up to overflowing.

As I returned to lead worship at my home church after the conference, I felt like I’d come down from the mountaintop….like maybe my hair had gone white, or my face was glowing, or my feet weren’t quite making contact with the ground.


While my physical appearance may not have actually changed, worship has been different at my church since then; people are commenting about it, and saying how good the music has been. But I’m not convinced it’s really about the music. I think they’re feeling the spark – and I’m hoping that spark will ignite a Dynamite Bride of Christ, one who’s again on fire for her Groom.

Power in our Praise (or, O Snake, Where Is Thy Bite?)

EEEEW - no offense to Mr. Snake, but - this gives you the creeps just to look at it, doesn't it?

This snake was making a beeline for a birds' nest on our back porch. At first glance, it looked and sounded like a rattler. But on closer examination (yeah, we actually got closer), it was just a "wannabe." A rat or bull snake, about 6 feet long. He'd take in a big puff of air, and then constrict and twist and contort himself while blowing it all out. When he did, it made a rattling sound.

This snake turned out not to have a rattler, or the infamous diamond-shaped head. But it was threatening in its own way (if not to us, then to our cats and small dogs), and sure was something we'd rather have avoided stumbling across when going outside.

This incident so reminds me of a dream I had while attending a worship leading institute July 8-10, 2009, called Unveiled Worship, in Carrollton, Texas. This event blessed me deeply, as I am sure it did the many others who attended. The Spirit of God was so powerful that it absolutely unchained us - the junk that had been weighing us down was broken off, and sent us away with renewed energy and passion for serving as worship leaders.

On the second night of this three-day event, I dreamed all of the attendees were hanging out together, talking, visiting, and exploring the property around the place where we were gathered. In the dream, we were in rocky terrain, and gathered together outside as much as inside, climbing the rocks and taking in the view. But suddenly I noticed two large snakes entwined in a lethal wrestling match. I stopped in my tracks and warned the others around me to be careful, to get back.

But I became aware that the snakes weren't trying to attack us - they were too busy attacking each other. I was also curious about the fact that their mouths remained closed - they were not biting - just twisting and squeezing each other.

As others filtered outside to play on the rocks, I would warn them about the snakes, or pull them away from other snakes that were slithering out from cracks in the rocks. But again, with each snake I saw, I noticed the mouths remained closed. Also, the snakes did not pursue us -in fact, they would retreat back into the rocks if they did see us.

When I awoke, I pondered what the dream might mean. Snakes often represent evil forces, so their presence in the dream was clearly indicative of the evil around us. However, as we were caught up in worshipping and praising God in Spirit and Truth at our gathering, that evil had no power to attack or harm us. In fact, it had to flee, because the Spirit of the Lord was also present, and rendered the snakes not only harmless, but afraid.

I then remembered a Bible passage that well illlustrates this concept of how powerful our praise and worship to God can be against the spiritual forces of darkness. 2 Chronicles 20 tells of King Jehoshaphat's fear upon hearing that armies from three countries were advancing in a united front to attack his people.

Greatly distressed and afraid because he was badly outnumbered, the king declared a time of fasting and prayer. As he stood praying in the temple of the Lord, surrounded by the men, women and children of his land, the king reminded God of His promises to protect them and provide for them, and once again asked for favor. Then, the Lord responded through a prophet named Jahaziel:

15 He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. 16 Tomorrow march down against them. ..17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "
18 Jehoshaphat bowed with his face to the ground, and all the people of Judah and Jerusalem fell down in worship before the LORD. 19 Then some Levites from the Kohathites and Korahites stood up and praised the LORD, the God of Israel, with very loud voice.
20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." 21 After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever."
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 23 The men of Ammon and Moab rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another. ...The fear of God came upon all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard how the LORD had fought against the enemies of Israel. 30 And the kingdom of Jehoshaphat was at peace, for his God had given him rest on every side.

(Highlights are mine.)

WOW! So the worship team went before the army, and as they praised, the Lord caused the enemy armies to turn against each other - and finally upon themselves. Jehoshaphat's army NEVER HAD TO UNSHEATH A SWORD! It was all done through the power loosed by praising God.

I think my dream about the snakes was showing me how our praises at the Unveiled Worship event were riling the spiritual forces of darkness because we were winning a victory for the Lord! I was also aware that we needed to be careful not to taunt them or engage them, but also not fear them because God was causing them to destroy one another rather than attack us - just like the story of Jehoshaphat.

As a final cap on this story - the organizer of this event, Brian Ming, is the worship leader at the host church (North Church) where Unveiled Worship Institute was held. The day I arrived there, I made it a point to thank Brian for his effort to host this event, saying, "I know what a sacrifice it entails." I know, because Satan attacks regularly when we are doing a good work for the Lord. He's been pretty relentlessly after me since I started leading worship, trying to discourage me and make me stop. Also, I have seen that the wider our circle of influence, the more rigorous Satan's efforts to make us stand down (ever heard the adage, "the bigger they are, the harder they fall"?). In hosting this event, Brian had just widened his already considerable circle a great deal by pulling people together from all over the world to give God the glory and recalibrate our hearts and minds in service to Him.

The day after I had this dream, which was the last day of the event, I saw Brian in the lobby of the church. I greeted him and again thanked him for his transparency in sharing his heart and vulnerability with us in some of the sessions.

About an hour later, we got word that his parents had been in a terrible car accident, and had to be pulled out of the wreck using the "jaws of life". We were asked to pray. A few hours after that report, we learned that they were, miraculously, bumped and bruised and shaken up, but otherwise well. In fact, there was a woman in the car behind them who saw it all. She said the Lord had placed her there at that time, and had told her to intercede for them with prayer. She apparently prayed with them as they were waiting to be freed from the wreckage.

I think Satan tried to frighten Brian and steal away his focus and effectiveness as we were wrapping up the conference. But the Lord kept the snake's mouth shut so it couldn't harm the Ming family. Brian stayed and finished the event, and a victory was won by and for all of us.

To God be the glory, forever and ever, and may we as worship leaders proclaim His favor all the days of our lives.

It's All About the Process

May 2 Dream

I was standing in line to get into heaven. Apparently, each person who entered had to be "processed" before being let in. So as I "come to" in this dream awareness, I was standing 3rd back in the line, observing what was going on:

Behind me was a long, single-file line that snaked around as far as the eye could see. Yes, we were standing among clouds. Cliche, I know, but don't shoot me - I'm just the dreamer.

In front of me were two people. The one directly in front of me was waiting to be processed, like I and the multitudes behind me were; the person in front of him was currently being interviewed by one of the two women who staffed this "department". The processing area consisted of a folding table; the filing system was a box of index cards which, I believe, contained the information on every person who was entering heaven. There was a single phone attached to a wall behind the folding table.

Despite the apparent inefficiency of the system, the women were pleasant enough and working quite diligently to get everyone processed. Occasionally one would pick up the phone and talk to God about the person being processed into heaven.

Though I feel no sense of hurriedness or impatience whatsoever, I was busy observing and analyzing what was going on around me. I find myself thinking “How could God’s procedures not be the most efficient of all? And what would God need to know or discuss with these women about each of us - doesn't He know it all already?”

As though reading my mind (I guess He does that!), He imparts into my thoughts, “It’s all about the process.” Though the phrase is simple, it comes with a complete understanding...that the point isn’t about being fast and efficient – it is about putting each of us through the process; and as we go through it, God watches our responses. In this particular scenario, He wanted to see if we responded with patience, peace, and kindness toward one another as we all waited together.

Thankfully, I was relieved to realize that I had been responding with great patience, being caught up in the moment. However, I had also been very observant and found myself thinking of ways they could streamline things. (Like God needs to learn anything from me. Hah!)

When I saw I was about to be next to be processed, I looked at the line behind me again and noticed my husband was standing about 6 or 7 people behind me. I thought, "I could help his process go better if he could observe mine, as I had been observing those ahead of me in order to prepare myself." So I called him forward. He was very calm and in the moment, too. Though he didn't seem to be in any particular hurry to get to the head of the line, when he saw me beckon to him, he came up to stand next to me. Only then did I realize I’d actually invited him to cut in front of several other people; and I felt really bad when I realized it.

The dream scene switches suddenly here, but interestingly, it reiterates the same theme.

I am already in heaven, but my husband isn't yet, so I am trying to call him from my cell phone to let him know what to expect. But the connection is terrible, with much interference, and always at the most inopportune times! It was as though every time I got to a juicy piece of information I thought he'd need to know, we'd get nothing but static. (Apparently, the Verizon herd can only follow a person so far!)

Then I suddenly "got it"...God didn’t WANT me prepping my husband for heaven. He wanted my husband to experience the passage on his own, to go through his OWN process.

Again, it was all about the importance of the process - that it's not about knowing what to expect before you get there, and not about speed or efficiency in getting there, either. It's about each person experiencing his or her own process in life, and probably in the afterlife, as well. We can't do it for each other. It's uniquely personal, between us and God alone.

This dream reminded me of Luke 16:

The Rich Man and Lazarus

19"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23In hell,[c] where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'
25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'
27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, 28for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'
29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'
30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'

I think that story pretty much summed up my dream – God doesn’t want us to come back and tell each other the scoop…we must go through the process and experience things in our own right - it's how we learn and grow and develop perseverance, faith, character, and all that good stuff.

If It Matters Here, It Must Matter There!

May 25, 2009

I still haven’t figured this one out very well, but somehow I believe there is truth here.

I dreamed last night about our stewardship in all areas of life, and how it will count in our heavenly lives. Mind you, this is the one area in my faith that just makes me cringe...I feel like I am always struggling to be a good steward of my finances, my body, the environment, etc. I know it's all about discipline, but ... well, a girl has just GOT to have some fun, sometimes! Doesn't she?

In the first scene of the dream, I remember being asked to open my hand and show the coins I had brought with me to heaven (all coins…there was no paper money in heaven…maybe that’s a lesson in wise investing! :) ) It seemed like God wanted to see how we had managed our money, and that somehow what we were holding tightly in the palm of our hands as we entered heaven would be an indicator of our earthly financial stewardship. (What will happen if I open my hand to reveal a charge card, I wonder??????)

Then I was paired off with my little sister. We were told to go into a curtained area and inspect each other's physical beings for disease or brokenness or imperfection. We were then to give an account of our findings, as an indicator of our stewardship of our bodies while on earth. My sister passed with flying colors – her physical being was not only perfect and flawless, but she was also bejeweled! She had received a jade implanted on the back of her shoulder blade as she entered heaven. Cool! She would have inspected me next but I woke up. (Pshew – time to redeem myself and start that diet I’ve been avoiding!)

That’s all I remember of the dream sequence; but the pivotal thing that stuck in my mind was the theme of how our stewardship over all things in life will have heavenly ramifications that we will have to answer to when we get there. Secondarily, I sensed that we would also be called to be stewards in heaven, and that the lessons learned, or not learned, on earth will directly impact our assignments as stewards over things in heaven…but what things? To be continued, perhaps, in another dream?…

All About Him, All for Us

May 1st

For the past several weeks, the worship band and I have been working on a song called "All About You". That title also happens to have been a personal "mantra" throughout my worship leading career. It is extremely challenging to participate in music, which is inherently "me-focused" (do I suck as bad as I think I do? OR wow, we really sounded good today!), as a ministry, in which the ideal is to be purely Christ-focused (if any of you worship leaders has succeeded in this paradigm shift, please share your secrets!).

During these same weeks, I have been praying earnestly for someone very dear to me who, as far as I know, is not a believer. He has recently been diagnosed with a serious illness, so I've been interceding mightily and frequently on his behalf.

As I prayed for him early one morning, the phrase "trouble the waters" wafted into my mind. I knew it to be a reference to John 5, the story of the paralyzed man who for 38 years had tried in vain to be the first one to wade into the healing waters of Bethesda, where annually the "angel of the Lord" would come and "trouble" (or stir up) the waters. The belief was that the first one to wade into the waters would be healed. But this poor guy, being paralyzed, never made it in first.

6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"
7"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."
8Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The day after this prayer session where the phrase "trouble the waters" came to mind, I heard a sermon on this very passage! The pastor talked about how we can be paralyzed by a lack of faith. He also said that Jesus' command to pick up the mat and walk was symbolic of taking up the decision to believe, standing on that decision, and finally moving, or walking, in faith.

I also found it personally interesting that Jesus didn't help drag this guy to the water so he could be the first one in and thus be healed, as one would expect: instead, He asked the man, "Do you want to be healed?" And the guy is like, "Wah, wah, wah, yada yada, it's all their fault, they won't help me, poor me." But Jesus doesn't seem to care one bit about what the other folks did or didn't do, and He doesn't seem especially moved by the man's self-pity. He simply says, "Then get up and walk!"

That speaks to me of escaping the "paralysis" of self-pity and helplessness we allow ourselves to fall into as we focusing on ourselves (poor me) and others (it's all someone else's fault), and instead taking authority over our own attitudes and actions.

So on the heels of all this reflection, I had the following dream:

I am standing in a small lake or pool of water. It is briskly cold, and a deep, cobalt blue. On the banks of the water, facing me, stands this person I know and love who was just diagnosed with cancer. I am trying to convince him to please, please, please, just wade into the water toward me, and he would be made well. But he stands firmly on the bank, irritated and impatient with me, tired of my religious talk. I beg and plead with him for some time, to no avail. Finally, he makes a dismissive remark and turns away, choosing instead to walk and talk with someone else on the same side of the lake as he. I feel hurt and rejected, but mostly frustrated and deeply saddened that he won't take that step of faith that could save his life.

At that moment I realize the song "All About You" is playing in my head. I am immediately ashamed; for once again, I have caught myself thinking first about my own sense of hurt and rejection instead of keeping my focus on Christ and His will for this dear man. "I'm sorry, Lord," I pray, smiling ruefully at my own foolishness. "I know it’s not about me…it’s all about You."

Immediately the Lord speaks gently and so lovingly into my mind: “Yes, it's all about Me - but it’s all FOR you.” (NOTE: I understand the word "you" as collective - i.e., not just me, but all of humanity). And it takes my breath away.

This dream taught me that the real truth is this: God's first commandment to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength (keeping the focus on Christ) is NOT because he's an insatiable, jealous, controlling egomaniac; it's because as we pour our hearts and minds into Him, He in turn pours His very Self back into us, giving us life and hope, provision and protection, renewal and healing, freedom and peace.

What He wants from us, I believe, is to enter into a mutual love relationship with Him, not submit to some deity dictatorship, as so many believe is the case. That's why He gave us free will! He doesn't want a bunch of robots He can program to do what He says (or that's what He would have created)! He gave us the choice to love Him and trust Him. The natural consequence of that love and trust is to obey Him, because we learn that His will is ultimately for our best and highest good!

Yes, it's all about Me (keep your focus on me), for through Me will come everything you need, and even more than you could ever ask or imagine (but it's all FOR you).

What a loving and grace-filled gift Christ gives in pouring out Himself for us. It's already been given. All we have to do is accept it so it isn't wasted in our lives.

The Test Drive of a Lifetime

Welcome to my maiden voyage as a blogger!

I am starting a blog because for some time, I have been feeling led to share some of the thoughts, dreams and answered prayers that have helped encourage and inspire me through the years. Though I've been enjoying for many years now a sense of God's presence with me, and an experience of being discipled, guided, led and instructed about heavenly realities that help shed life on earthly dilemmas, trying to share these experiences with others has always been a challenge. God's "still, small voice" is so personal and so - well - a wisp of a whisper on the wind - how do you capture and communicate such things with our limited human vocabularly?

Or should our personal inspirations be shared at all? Maybe not always - sometimes, perhaps, they are simply meant as nourishment for our personal edification. Other times, though, I think the inner growth that results from times of adversity might, if shared, be just the encouragement that might help the next person through what might seem an impossible time in his or her life. And if my experiences can help ease someone else's pain, I am privileged to be the fool who attempts to give form and substance to what I perceive to be eternal truths.

What are my qualifications? None whatsoever, other than the fact I've survived - and even, despite myself, thrived - in this life for over half a century.

But I have always been a seeker after truth. Sometimes that seeking led me down some dead end tunnels in the maze of possible truths.

I grew up in a small, country church (great social club but scant spiritual development), stopped going in 6th grade, then studied the New Age for 15 years (another dead-end tunnel, as much as I had wanted it to be something of substance); and finally, at age 31, read the Bible (I'd searched for the truth everywhere else but there, somehow).

I initially read the Bible in the hopes that its message would align with my metaphysical, Eastern and new age studies...("why can't we all just get along?"); but alas, it did not. In fact, reading scriptures forced me to make a decision. Suddenly, I found myself standing at the fork in the road of my very culturally relevant and popular new age views, at the juncture where they diverged from the straight and narrow road the Bible purported to be the Truth.

At this crossroads of belief systems that would, I hoped, be able to guide me for the rest of my days, I had to choose which direction to take. Having already trod the one and found it to be the Road to Nowhere, I decided to try the as-yet untrodden path of Christianity. Though I didn't understand it all, and frankly found some of it pretty hard to swallow, I promised the Lord I'd at least try to live as though I "got it" - you know - walk by faith and not by sight, and all that. I would try to accept that I didn't have to know the answers to everything, and instead just trust what the Bible said and walk in that way - i.e., give God's road a test drive, as it were.

That was 26 years ago, and I've never turned back. That "test drive" completely changed my life and continues to change my life, always for the better. I have been given a calling to serve in the church, and over the past 15 years have been privileged to be on staff at two wonderful churches (Presbyterian and Methodist), serving a dual role in each as both worship leader and executive assistant/secretary. I have been instructed by some of their best theologians, healed through the ministries of their very gifted prayer ministers, discipled via the guidance and wisdom of many devoted servants of Christ, and mentored and inspired by some of the most respected and gifted worship leaders of our time. I am, indeed, blessed beyond anything I could ever have imagined for myself, and I live each day in gratitude for God's continued favor on my life.

So that's what this blog will reflect - what I have learned, and continue to learn, on my journey. Many lessons have been learned via The School of Hard Knocks, of which we are all alumni. But much wisdom has also come through answers to prayers, which God seems to virtually drop into my mind as I converse with Him. I know these things are not from my own earthly mind, as they are truths of such wonder and wisdom as I could never figure out on my own. Other inspirations come to me through dreams of crystal clarity that sometimes come true, and other times simply reveal a truth about this life, or the heavenly life to come, in a new and profound way. At other times, my dreams reveal to me with fresh insight the reality of a situation that in my waking hours is clouded by emotion or misjudgment.

Thus the name of my blog - DreamSpirations, which is inspired by Joel 2:28, which says that in the day of the Lord, "I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions."

I don't know how often I'll have anything to post, or how much time I'll have to keep up. But my prayer is that as the Lord blesses me with inspirations, dreams, visions or answerd prayers, my sharing them might also bless and encourage others.

Or, if nothing else, may they give you a good chuckle.

Peace be with you!