May 1st
For the past several weeks, the worship band and I have been working on a song called "All About You". That title also happens to have been a personal "mantra" throughout my worship leading career. It is extremely challenging to participate in music, which is inherently "me-focused" (do I suck as bad as I think I do? OR wow, we really sounded good today!), as a ministry, in which the ideal is to be purely Christ-focused (if any of you worship leaders has succeeded in this paradigm shift, please share your secrets!).
During these same weeks, I have been praying earnestly for someone very dear to me who, as far as I know, is not a believer. He has recently been diagnosed with a serious illness, so I've been interceding mightily and frequently on his behalf.
As I prayed for him early one morning, the phrase "trouble the waters" wafted into my mind. I knew it to be a reference to John 5, the story of the paralyzed man who for 38 years had tried in vain to be the first one to wade into the healing waters of Bethesda, where annually the "angel of the Lord" would come and "trouble" (or stir up) the waters. The belief was that the first one to wade into the waters would be healed. But this poor guy, being paralyzed, never made it in first.
6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"
7"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."
8Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
The day after this prayer session where the phrase "trouble the waters" came to mind, I heard a sermon on this very passage! The pastor talked about how we can be paralyzed by a lack of faith. He also said that Jesus' command to pick up the mat and walk was symbolic of taking up the decision to believe, standing on that decision, and finally moving, or walking, in faith.
I also found it personally interesting that Jesus didn't help drag this guy to the water so he could be the first one in and thus be healed, as one would expect: instead, He asked the man, "Do you want to be healed?" And the guy is like, "Wah, wah, wah, yada yada, it's all their fault, they won't help me, poor me." But Jesus doesn't seem to care one bit about what the other folks did or didn't do, and He doesn't seem especially moved by the man's self-pity. He simply says, "Then get up and walk!"
That speaks to me of escaping the "paralysis" of self-pity and helplessness we allow ourselves to fall into as we focusing on ourselves (poor me) and others (it's all someone else's fault), and instead taking authority over our own attitudes and actions.
So on the heels of all this reflection, I had the following dream:
I am standing in a small lake or pool of water. It is briskly cold, and a deep, cobalt blue. On the banks of the water, facing me, stands this person I know and love who was just diagnosed with cancer. I am trying to convince him to please, please, please, just wade into the water toward me, and he would be made well. But he stands firmly on the bank, irritated and impatient with me, tired of my religious talk. I beg and plead with him for some time, to no avail. Finally, he makes a dismissive remark and turns away, choosing instead to walk and talk with someone else on the same side of the lake as he. I feel hurt and rejected, but mostly frustrated and deeply saddened that he won't take that step of faith that could save his life.
At that moment I realize the song "All About You" is playing in my head. I am immediately ashamed; for once again, I have caught myself thinking first about my own sense of hurt and rejection instead of keeping my focus on Christ and His will for this dear man. "I'm sorry, Lord," I pray, smiling ruefully at my own foolishness. "I know it’s not about me…it’s all about You."
Immediately the Lord speaks gently and so lovingly into my mind: “Yes, it's all about Me - but it’s all FOR you.” (NOTE: I understand the word "you" as collective - i.e., not just me, but all of humanity). And it takes my breath away.
This dream taught me that the real truth is this: God's first commandment to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength (keeping the focus on Christ) is NOT because he's an insatiable, jealous, controlling egomaniac; it's because as we pour our hearts and minds into Him, He in turn pours His very Self back into us, giving us life and hope, provision and protection, renewal and healing, freedom and peace.
What He wants from us, I believe, is to enter into a mutual love relationship with Him, not submit to some deity dictatorship, as so many believe is the case. That's why He gave us free will! He doesn't want a bunch of robots He can program to do what He says (or that's what He would have created)! He gave us the choice to love Him and trust Him. The natural consequence of that love and trust is to obey Him, because we learn that His will is ultimately for our best and highest good!
Yes, it's all about Me (keep your focus on me), for through Me will come everything you need, and even more than you could ever ask or imagine (but it's all FOR you).
What a loving and grace-filled gift Christ gives in pouring out Himself for us. It's already been given. All we have to do is accept it so it isn't wasted in our lives.
For the past several weeks, the worship band and I have been working on a song called "All About You". That title also happens to have been a personal "mantra" throughout my worship leading career. It is extremely challenging to participate in music, which is inherently "me-focused" (do I suck as bad as I think I do? OR wow, we really sounded good today!), as a ministry, in which the ideal is to be purely Christ-focused (if any of you worship leaders has succeeded in this paradigm shift, please share your secrets!).
During these same weeks, I have been praying earnestly for someone very dear to me who, as far as I know, is not a believer. He has recently been diagnosed with a serious illness, so I've been interceding mightily and frequently on his behalf.
As I prayed for him early one morning, the phrase "trouble the waters" wafted into my mind. I knew it to be a reference to John 5, the story of the paralyzed man who for 38 years had tried in vain to be the first one to wade into the healing waters of Bethesda, where annually the "angel of the Lord" would come and "trouble" (or stir up) the waters. The belief was that the first one to wade into the waters would be healed. But this poor guy, being paralyzed, never made it in first.
6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"
7"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."
8Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
The day after this prayer session where the phrase "trouble the waters" came to mind, I heard a sermon on this very passage! The pastor talked about how we can be paralyzed by a lack of faith. He also said that Jesus' command to pick up the mat and walk was symbolic of taking up the decision to believe, standing on that decision, and finally moving, or walking, in faith.
I also found it personally interesting that Jesus didn't help drag this guy to the water so he could be the first one in and thus be healed, as one would expect: instead, He asked the man, "Do you want to be healed?" And the guy is like, "Wah, wah, wah, yada yada, it's all their fault, they won't help me, poor me." But Jesus doesn't seem to care one bit about what the other folks did or didn't do, and He doesn't seem especially moved by the man's self-pity. He simply says, "Then get up and walk!"
That speaks to me of escaping the "paralysis" of self-pity and helplessness we allow ourselves to fall into as we focusing on ourselves (poor me) and others (it's all someone else's fault), and instead taking authority over our own attitudes and actions.
So on the heels of all this reflection, I had the following dream:
I am standing in a small lake or pool of water. It is briskly cold, and a deep, cobalt blue. On the banks of the water, facing me, stands this person I know and love who was just diagnosed with cancer. I am trying to convince him to please, please, please, just wade into the water toward me, and he would be made well. But he stands firmly on the bank, irritated and impatient with me, tired of my religious talk. I beg and plead with him for some time, to no avail. Finally, he makes a dismissive remark and turns away, choosing instead to walk and talk with someone else on the same side of the lake as he. I feel hurt and rejected, but mostly frustrated and deeply saddened that he won't take that step of faith that could save his life.
At that moment I realize the song "All About You" is playing in my head. I am immediately ashamed; for once again, I have caught myself thinking first about my own sense of hurt and rejection instead of keeping my focus on Christ and His will for this dear man. "I'm sorry, Lord," I pray, smiling ruefully at my own foolishness. "I know it’s not about me…it’s all about You."
Immediately the Lord speaks gently and so lovingly into my mind: “Yes, it's all about Me - but it’s all FOR you.” (NOTE: I understand the word "you" as collective - i.e., not just me, but all of humanity). And it takes my breath away.
This dream taught me that the real truth is this: God's first commandment to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength (keeping the focus on Christ) is NOT because he's an insatiable, jealous, controlling egomaniac; it's because as we pour our hearts and minds into Him, He in turn pours His very Self back into us, giving us life and hope, provision and protection, renewal and healing, freedom and peace.
What He wants from us, I believe, is to enter into a mutual love relationship with Him, not submit to some deity dictatorship, as so many believe is the case. That's why He gave us free will! He doesn't want a bunch of robots He can program to do what He says (or that's what He would have created)! He gave us the choice to love Him and trust Him. The natural consequence of that love and trust is to obey Him, because we learn that His will is ultimately for our best and highest good!
Yes, it's all about Me (keep your focus on me), for through Me will come everything you need, and even more than you could ever ask or imagine (but it's all FOR you).
What a loving and grace-filled gift Christ gives in pouring out Himself for us. It's already been given. All we have to do is accept it so it isn't wasted in our lives.
0 comments:
Post a Comment